Monday, October 12, 2009

Wretched gnocchi, I'm gonna be sick!

I LOVE gnocchi, at Oggie’s in Fresno. I hate gnocchi from my kitchen in Seattle. Cheesy- white-trash-potato-dumplings, sick. And so the story begins….

I am chatting away with Litman today (as Sofie was magically blogging, weird, I know) and we are discussing that although we have been married only a month we have run out of interesting dinner ideas! My mom always made different delicious din-dins, I try but seem to be on repeat. And- side note- I would like to take this opportunity to say thank you and apologize to my Mom! Mom, I am sorry for all the nights I said, “Ick, mustard chicken, again?” or cried that I hated meatloaf (unless she let me share it off her plate). I was wrong. I am sorry. Please send me the nasty mustard chicken recipe, I am begging you…

So anyways, the Litmans had their rehearsal dinner at this amazing Italian restaurant in Fresno. I typically don’t really care for Italian food, but this place was A-MAZ-ING! The gnocchi was a bite of heaven! So today while I am driving and chit-chatting away, I tell Amy I am going to make Bryan and myself some gnocchi. I had downloaded a recipe off the food network and I felt mentally prepared to try it out.

Another side note, Bryan and I are trying to save some money and have decided too much of our budget goes to food and drink. I love drink. So we now have been going to the grocery store once a week and trying to plan out a menu. It seems to be working, we are definitely wasting less food and it is kind of fun when you get desperately creative. We have been going to the grocery store on Tuesday. I just decided to make the gnocchi yesterday (Sunday), largely impart because I bought 20 frickin lbs of potatoes last Tuesday solely because they were on sale for 10 lbs for $0.99, I barely like potatoes. And even if I did, 20 lbs of potatoes! Come on! Bryan loves mashed potatoes, but personally I could take ‘em or leave ‘em. So because it is Monday and all that is left in this house is some cheese, spinach, onions, spices, a can of tomato soup and 15 frickin lbs of potatoes, I set out to try to make some gnocchi AND a sauce….

Here are the ingredients for the gnocchi:

• Kosher salt

• 1 pound russet potatoes

• 3 to 4 large egg yolks

• 1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan

• 1/4 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg

• 1/2 teaspoon gray salt

• 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

• 1 cup all-purpose flour, plus more for dusting board and dough

I didn’t have any parmesan so I figured, “What the heck, I’ll substitute mozzarella.” Ick. Big mistake. My gnocchi looked just fine during all the steps. Pretty even

They Float! That’s what is supposed to happen!

But unfortunately they taste like soggy-cheese-white trash dumplings!

Now let me tell you about my sauce, also something from a trailer park. I goggled a recipe for tomato gorgonzola sauce. Now I am sure you are thinking, “wow! This girl has gorgonzola cheese in her fridge! Not too shabby.” Well, let me set you straight, I don’t! My plan was again to substitute mozzarella. Sick. So the sauce called for these tasty ingredients:

• 1 Tbsp. olive oil

• 1/2 cup onion, diced

• 1/4 tsp. red pepper flakes

• 1/4 tsp. ground black pepper

• 1 Tbsp. tomato paste

• 1 clove garlic, minced

• 1 (28 oz) can tomato puree

• 2 tsp. balsamic vinegar

• 2 tsp. sugar

• 1/2 cup heavy cream

• 1/3 cup creamy Gorgonzola, crumbled

• 1/3 cup fresh basil, chopped

• salt to taste

The sauce I created included these, sometimes tasty but not in my made up recipe, ingredients:

• 1 can Campbell’s tomato soup

• 1 onion

• A bunch of spinach, I like to add spinach to everything and trick myself into eating it

• Red pepper flakes

• Oregano

• Basil

• Balsamic vinegar

• All spice

• Salt and Pepper

• And unfortunately, more mozzarella cheese

It doesn’t look too bad, but mostly it just tastes like melted cheese and tomato soup with a kick!

And here is the final result, again it looks pretty tasty, don’t be fooled! It tastes more like Chef Boyardee than Top Chef!!

Poor Bryan! Can you believe what I tried to serve us? All that mozzarella cheese. Wretched and Disgusting. I am gonna be sick! Looks like we are going to eating PB&J again!


  1. My word - I am amazed real people actually try to cook things like this. I cannot bake cookies. No thank you to attempting that. PLUS, my hubs, the pickiest man alive, would sooner DIE than eat that, lol.

    Good for you for trying! What a great man you have to eat it up!

  2. I just saw these pictures, hilarious!